1 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:29,360 Good morning, Doctor. 2 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:30,900 Oh, good morning, Charles. 3 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,140 You're looking splendid. 4 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:33,449 I feel splendid. 5 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:37,130 Every day and in every way, you're feeling better and better. 6 00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,910 Indeed. Now, why don't you sit here? 7 00:00:42,170 --> 00:00:45,430 Wouldn't you like me to... Not unless you want to. 8 00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:49,210 No. It'll be quite comfortable here. Thank you. 9 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:53,830 Doctor, I'm surprised. 10 00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:56,389 Oh, of course. 11 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,630 You quit. 12 00:00:58,870 --> 00:00:59,910 Three months ago. 13 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:05,120 You know, there was a time when your forgetfulness would have made me feel 14 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,620 rejected. Not now. 15 00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:09,040 Well, a little rejected, perhaps. 16 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,180 Did you do it intentionally? 17 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,200 Why should I do that? 18 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:18,540 Well, I'm a patient you consider to be completely rehabilitated. 19 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,340 On your recommendation soon to appear before the sanity board. 20 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,640 Your reputation on the line. 21 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,020 A little test, perhaps. 22 00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:32,160 Not very long ago, an obvious trick like that would have sent you into a 23 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,160 towering rage. 24 00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:37,820 And poor old Clouseau would have silently and passively submitted to 25 00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:38,820 massacre. 26 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:43,860 It's a miracle you were somehow able to keep putting him back together again. 27 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,720 Poor old Clouseau. 28 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,820 There was a time when I couldn't even speak his name. 29 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,160 There was also a time when you would joyfully have killed him. 30 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:56,980 Yes. 31 00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:01,000 I was a thick man, wasn't I? Mm -hmm. 32 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,700 We've come a long way, haven't we? 33 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,300 And you're not even a little bit bothered when you think of Clouseau? 34 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:10,120 Not even a little bit. 35 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,480 Do you believe me? If you say so. 36 00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:15,380 Well, I could be lying. 37 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,580 You are a good psychiatrist, but I may be a better liar. 38 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,480 For your sake, I hope you're not. 39 00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:27,580 Sooner or later, you'd run into Clouseau and then back here for life. 40 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,400 No more chance of another hearing. 41 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,920 Coming here day after day, watching you chain -smoke yourself into an early 42 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:39,480 grave, and knowing that on certain mornings you'll be particularly morose 43 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:44,200 testy because you've had another fight with your wife, like this morning. 44 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,020 How do you know that? 45 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,300 It's the only time you doodle. 46 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,720 I keep forgetting you used to be Chief Inspector of the Surrey, eh? 47 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,340 And will be again. 48 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,830 What? Clouseau is chief inspector now. 49 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,190 Until the better man comes along. 50 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:08,390 Well, in that case, I think Inspector Clouseau had better start looking to his 51 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,390 laurels. 52 00:03:10,150 --> 00:03:11,150 What? 53 00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:16,130 You mean... The board meets at two this afternoon. 54 00:03:17,250 --> 00:03:18,250 This afternoon? 55 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:22,750 If everything goes as I expect it to, you'll be out of here this afternoon. 56 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,480 Thank you, thank you, thank you. See you at two. 57 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,040 Clouseau! 58 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,160 Now, now, Doctor. 59 00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:41,360 Some people would consider your methods most unorthodox. 60 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,840 I was just making sure that you're not a better liar than I am as a 61 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,840 psychiatrist. 62 00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:47,940 Two o 'clock. 63 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,320 How? 64 00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:15,460 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 65 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,720 Out with the bad air, in with the good. 66 00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:26,710 She's obliged. 67 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:30,990 Pervert! 68 00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,170 Dirty old men. 69 00:05:45,590 --> 00:05:49,450 Closer. Please, there is no need to thank me. 70 00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,830 Thank you. For saving her life. 71 00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:53,730 Someone. 72 00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:55,910 I was hit on the head. 73 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,970 Yes, sir. You have received a bump on the head. 74 00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:03,450 Bump? What? You said bump. Yes, I know that. 75 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:08,470 It is a large bump. You could receive a concussion from such a bump. 76 00:06:08,770 --> 00:06:10,510 Allow me to... No! 77 00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:13,390 I'm all right. 78 00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:14,650 I'm fine. 79 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:15,950 Never better. 80 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,510 Just a little... a little shaky. 81 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:23,510 Probably the shock of... I mean the surprise of seeing you here again today. 82 00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:30,060 Well, I received a report from the sanity commission that they were going 83 00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:34,960 review your case today. So I thought a few words from me on your behalf. 84 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,219 Oh, God. 85 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:41,500 I mean, how generous of you, but... Well, I'm not without influence, you 86 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,100 Yes, I know that. 87 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:49,020 Yes, I have become a rather important official in the department. 88 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,920 I've heard. You're the new chief inspector. 89 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:54,220 Yes. 90 00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:55,770 Yes, yes. 91 00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,310 Yes. Yes. 92 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,310 Yes, yes. 93 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:06,610 Yes, we made quite a few changes since you went crazy. 94 00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:08,670 For the better, I'm sure. 95 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:13,790 By the way, Sergeant Chevalier sent you his kind regards. 96 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,470 Oh, Sergeant Chevalier. 97 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,930 Good old Sergeant Chevalier. 98 00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:19,350 How is he, anyway? 99 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:23,890 Well, you know, there are leaders and there are followers. 100 00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:30,050 And I'm afraid that Sergeant Chevalier will always be a follower, eh? Oh, yes. 101 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:34,430 And you, my friend Clouseau, a leader, eh? 102 00:07:35,850 --> 00:07:36,970 Always a leader. 103 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:39,730 Onwards and upwards to the top. 104 00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:42,290 It is my karma. 105 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,030 What? My destiny. 106 00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:45,490 Oh, yes. 107 00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:52,410 Yes, a few more years on the force and I might even be persuaded to run for the 108 00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:53,410 public office. 109 00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:57,110 You can count on my vote. 110 00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:03,550 And you, my friend, can count on me to do everything in my power to get you out 111 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,550 of this plaza. 112 00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:07,550 Oh, yes, I know how you feel. 113 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,170 I have to. 114 00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,550 Well... 115 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,700 I'm perfectly all right. 116 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:33,820 One 117 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:43,080 moment, 118 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,860 and I will have you extracted. 119 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,980 I'm fine. I am perfect. 120 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:49,980 Every day. 121 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:53,610 And in every way, I'm getting better and better. 122 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:57,270 Somewhere over the rainbow. 123 00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:03,170 I'm afraid this is just not your day, my friend. 124 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,150 But it is my day. 125 00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:12,690 It is, my friend. After three long, terrible years, it is at last my day. 126 00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:19,770 I will not permit, repeat, not permit anything, repeat anything to spoil it 127 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:27,560 I will walk you to the gate, and I will kiss you goodbye, and you will drive 128 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:32,740 off in your new car, which should rightfully be mine, and then I will have 129 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:38,880 interview with the sanity commission, and they will set me free, and then I 130 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,500 will kill you. 131 00:10:58,890 --> 00:10:59,890 Thank you. 132 00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:38,090 Thank you. 133 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,490 Oh, hello, dude. 134 00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:14,070 And two. 135 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,960 Oh, three weeks. 136 00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:40,950 I'll get it. 137 00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:46,590 This is Chief Inspector Cluseau's residence. 138 00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:50,810 This is Chief Inspector Cluseau speaking on the phone. 139 00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,390 What? Oh, put him on, put him on. 140 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:58,330 Good evening, Commissioner. 141 00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:03,450 How are you? How is Madame and all these little commissioners? 142 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:22,230 you can rest assured that I shall take every precaution that is necessary. 143 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,930 Thank you, Commissioner, and good evening. 144 00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:39,510 I have just received the word that Father Chief Inspector Dreyfus has 145 00:20:39,510 --> 00:20:40,590 from the insane attack. 146 00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:45,610 For some reason, the Deputy Commissioner thinks that he might try to kill him. 147 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:49,710 Obviously, the poor man is crazier than anyone gives him the credits for. 148 00:20:50,130 --> 00:20:53,990 Nevertheless, I am ordered to take every precaution. Now, see that the back door 149 00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:57,850 and the front door are locked while I slip into my new hunchback disguise, 150 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,400 Both doors are locked now. Who are you? 151 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,260 What have you done with Inspector Klusoff? 152 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:55,800 Chief Inspector Klusoff. 153 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,840 Sure, dear, didn't I? 154 00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:03,240 Oh, Chief Inspector, that is fantastic. 155 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:08,200 If you think this is fantastic, wait till you see the full effect with the 156 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,480 The bell. 157 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,200 The bell. The bell. 158 00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:44,420 Chief Inspector Clouseau? 159 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,600 Yes, this is Chief Inspector Clouseau. 160 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:51,960 Who is speaking? 161 00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:55,440 My name. My name is Clouseau. 162 00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:04,450 Claude Duval, I have the honor to be chairman of 163 00:23:04,450 --> 00:23:07,850 the Jacques Clouseau Presentation Committee. 164 00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:09,830 A presentation committee? 165 00:23:10,270 --> 00:23:11,270 To me? 166 00:23:13,010 --> 00:23:15,970 For what purpose, may I ask? 167 00:23:16,250 --> 00:23:17,910 For what purpose, you ask? 168 00:23:18,990 --> 00:23:20,650 How modest of you. 169 00:23:21,030 --> 00:23:26,530 The purpose, monsieur, is to honor one of the city's... 170 00:23:27,470 --> 00:23:31,170 dedicated, brave, and selfless public servants. 171 00:23:31,670 --> 00:23:34,030 You are most generous, Monsieur Neuf. 172 00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:39,290 Yes, I must admit I have often wondered, considering my years on the port of my 173 00:23:39,290 --> 00:23:43,250 numerous accomplishments, why recognition was not forthcoming earlier. 174 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:45,110 Absolutely right. 175 00:23:46,010 --> 00:23:51,270 Nine years' faithful service at the surety. Have you had as much as a single 176 00:23:51,270 --> 00:23:52,970 decoration in all that time? 177 00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:54,310 No. 178 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,570 Yes, that is quite correct. 179 00:23:57,740 --> 00:24:02,800 However, as you are no doubt aware, I have recently received an important 180 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,800 permission. 181 00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:09,540 Really? I have replaced the lunatic Dreyfus as Chief Inspector. 182 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,120 I know. 183 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,740 That's your Paris lift, the most sacred because of the change. 184 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:17,040 You're really missed, Ken. 185 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:22,640 But I can assure you when it comes to matters of giving the piss, I'm always 186 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,359 my toes. 187 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,360 Chief Inspector! 188 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:25,700 The one lemon, please. 189 00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:28,730 Don't you see that I'm on the film? 190 00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:12,549 Yes, yes. 191 00:25:12,550 --> 00:25:14,250 But thank you very much, Commissioner. 192 00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:15,490 Goodbye. 193 00:25:15,730 --> 00:25:16,930 That was the Commissioner. 194 00:25:17,130 --> 00:25:18,730 He was most concerned. 195 00:25:19,170 --> 00:25:22,250 Well, you have been very, very lucky, you know. Oh, yes, yes. 196 00:25:23,150 --> 00:25:25,430 Poor Kato will be in the hospital for weeks. 197 00:25:25,830 --> 00:25:28,090 Do you know what kind of a bum it was? 198 00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:29,510 The exploding kind. 199 00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,970 Mark my words, Francois. 200 00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:37,130 Sinister forces are at work. And this mad dimmer must be apprehended at all 201 00:25:37,130 --> 00:25:38,130 costs. 202 00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,890 Make sure you issue an old prince bulletin immediately. 203 00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:42,330 Yes, sir. 204 00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:43,650 What about my clothes? 205 00:25:43,950 --> 00:25:45,890 Sergeant Chauvin is rounding some up for you. 206 00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:49,510 Yes. While you're waiting, perhaps you would sign the order to transport Jean 207 00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:50,510 Tournier to prison. 208 00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:54,110 Tournier the bank robber? Yes, sir. I should be happy to sign that order. 209 00:25:55,290 --> 00:25:57,470 It's life for you this time, Tournier. 210 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,750 At last, we are rid of you. 211 00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,090 I have to go to the toilet. 212 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:15,490 Alright. 213 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:08,760 All right, Tournier, that's long enough. 214 00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:21,720 Now, this is my plan. 215 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:27,440 Step number one, I will recruit the world's greatest criminal mind. 216 00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:34,300 Step number two, I will build an organization so sinister, so, so 217 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,500 By comparison, the Cosa Nostra will seem like the Vienna Boys Choir. 218 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800 Here is the list. 219 00:27:41,340 --> 00:27:43,060 But half of these men are in prison. 220 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:44,320 We'll get them out. 221 00:27:44,540 --> 00:27:45,540 Impossible. 222 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,560 I'll bet you 20 million francs it is. 223 00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:51,940 Where would I get 20 million francs? I thought you'd ask that. 224 00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:53,560 Step number three. 225 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,640 Next Thursday at precisely 2 p .m., you and six men will enter the main branch 226 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,060 of the Paris Credit Bank. 227 00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:03,380 It's afternoon at approximately... 228 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,380 Five minutes to five o 'clock, three men dressed in building maintenance 229 00:28:07,380 --> 00:28:10,480 uniforms entered and robbed the Paris Credit Bank. 230 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,340 The leader has been identified as Jean Tournier. 231 00:28:16,780 --> 00:28:21,100 How much did they get? 232 00:28:21,940 --> 00:28:24,080 Millions. Here's the report. 233 00:28:25,420 --> 00:28:28,160 All right, that will be all, Francois. Thank you. 234 00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,380 Twenty million francs. 235 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,680 And now, the next step. 236 00:29:41,290 --> 00:29:43,190 Hugo Fassbender and his daughter have been kidnapped. 237 00:29:43,530 --> 00:29:44,710 Professor Fassbender? 238 00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:48,330 Paris has a theory. They're sending over the top manager. Chief Inspector 239 00:29:48,330 --> 00:29:51,190 Clouseau. He just sent this telegram. Get to the airport. 240 00:29:51,810 --> 00:29:53,710 BR121. 12 .38pm. 241 00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:19,740 Jarvis, sir. And what is it you do? 242 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,080 I am the butler. The butler, yes. 243 00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:26,340 Can you tell me where you were on the night of the kidnapping? 244 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,500 Asleep in my room, sir. Asleep in your room. 245 00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:31,160 Can you prove that? 246 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,300 No. Make a note of that, Sergeant Jarvis. 247 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:39,400 Tell the staff to assemble in the drawing room. I will interview them in a 248 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,400 moments. 249 00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:44,300 Who's your name again? 250 00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,780 Jarvis. Jarvis, that's right. 251 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,440 Perhaps you'll be kind enough to show me around the house. 252 00:30:49,820 --> 00:30:50,820 Very good, sir. 253 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:57,820 I suggest 254 00:30:57,820 --> 00:30:59,440 we start with the upstairs. 255 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,540 This is the upstairs, sir. Yes, I know that. 256 00:31:26,860 --> 00:31:27,860 That is a door. 257 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,180 I guess, sir, that is a door. 258 00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:33,300 Yes, I knew that. I knew that. It's not locked up. 259 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:36,900 Obviously. 260 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,080 Stay where you are. I prefer to handle this alone. 261 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,080 Is there anybody hiding there in the dark? 262 00:32:16,540 --> 00:32:19,960 Nothing like a good warm -up when you're on a case, you know? 263 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,940 Tell me, which switch did you use to turn on the lights? 264 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,380 The light switch, sir. 265 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:29,840 Strange, 266 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:34,640 it didn't work for me. 267 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,280 Ah. 268 00:32:38,380 --> 00:32:39,380 Yes. 269 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:45,840 Unless I missed my guess, this would be the, uh, gymnasium room, huh? 270 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,940 I guess so. Yes. 271 00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:49,420 It is a good room. 272 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,440 Yes. 273 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,600 This reminds me of my younger days at the Circe Hip Academy. 274 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,820 The parallel bars, my specialty. 275 00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:08,340 There was something of that for me to know. Yes, yes. 276 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,440 I was known as the Pavlova of the parallels. 277 00:33:13,380 --> 00:33:14,380 Yes. 278 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,140 Yes, it's all coming back now. 279 00:33:20,380 --> 00:33:21,380 Ah, yes. 280 00:33:21,700 --> 00:33:22,860 I remember. 281 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:40,560 I expect you're all wondering why I asked you here. 282 00:34:16,909 --> 00:34:20,630 The night it was, that suit did not last very long. 283 00:34:23,630 --> 00:34:24,630 Why not? 284 00:34:28,750 --> 00:34:30,449 Yes, yes, I know, I know. 285 00:34:31,909 --> 00:34:38,230 Now, um, yes, as I was saying, um... You were saying you suppose we were all 286 00:34:38,230 --> 00:34:42,690 wondering why you called us here. Look, there is no need for you to speak unless 287 00:34:42,690 --> 00:34:44,070 I ask you a question. 288 00:34:44,710 --> 00:34:45,710 What is your name? 289 00:34:45,909 --> 00:34:48,510 I'm Chalk, the gardener. And what is it you do? 290 00:34:49,250 --> 00:34:52,310 I'm the gardener. And why didn't you say that to me in the first place? 291 00:34:52,530 --> 00:34:53,268 I did. 292 00:34:53,270 --> 00:34:55,170 Look, don't try to be funny with me, monsieur. 293 00:34:55,590 --> 00:34:57,250 This is a very serious matter. 294 00:34:57,830 --> 00:35:00,990 And everyone in this room is under the suspicion. 295 00:35:01,650 --> 00:35:04,890 Well... What? What was that? You said well. Yes, I know that. 296 00:35:05,350 --> 00:35:09,390 And there is a very good chance that someone in this room knows more about 297 00:35:09,390 --> 00:35:11,450 murder than he is telling. 298 00:35:11,950 --> 00:35:13,610 Murder? What was that you said? 299 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,019 I said murder. 300 00:35:15,020 --> 00:35:15,999 What murder? 301 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,100 Well, I don't know if you said murder. 302 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,040 I said murder. You said murder. 303 00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:22,820 No, I said murder because you said murder. 304 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:27,740 I said murder. You said there was someone in this room who knew more about 305 00:35:27,740 --> 00:35:29,060 murder than he's telling. 306 00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:31,100 Now, listen. 307 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,600 What was her name? 308 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,040 Shawk. The cook. 309 00:35:36,340 --> 00:35:39,420 Gardener. Ah, now we are getting somewhere. 310 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:41,640 You. 311 00:35:44,259 --> 00:35:46,100 Are you all right, Mr. 312 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:48,180 Stutterstut? Who is this man? 313 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:49,138 He's Mr. 314 00:35:49,140 --> 00:35:51,700 Stutterstut. Let's see him. What is your job, Mr. Stutterstut? 315 00:35:52,260 --> 00:35:55,320 He's the beekeeper. I'm not asking you. I'm asking Mr. 316 00:35:55,580 --> 00:35:56,580 Stuffucker. 317 00:35:56,780 --> 00:36:01,380 What is he saying to you? What was that? He says he's got a bit of a cold and 318 00:36:01,380 --> 00:36:02,380 he's lost his voice. 319 00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:03,800 Lost his voice. 320 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,700 A beekeeper who has lost his voice. A cook who thinks he's a gardener. 321 00:36:09,140 --> 00:36:10,620 And a witness to murder. 322 00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:12,820 Oh, yes. 323 00:36:13,070 --> 00:36:19,150 It is obvious to my trained eye that there is much more going on here than 324 00:36:19,150 --> 00:36:20,150 the ear. 325 00:36:28,550 --> 00:36:33,770 Before you are dismissed, Mr. Tiff Speaker, I suggest you count your bees. 326 00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:36,590 You may find that one of them is missing. 327 00:36:36,910 --> 00:36:38,530 You ruined that piano! 328 00:36:38,890 --> 00:36:42,050 What is the price of one piano compared to the... 329 00:36:42,270 --> 00:36:46,490 Terrible crime that has been committed here. But that's a priceless Steinway. 330 00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:47,830 Not anymore. 331 00:36:48,030 --> 00:36:49,210 What is your name? 332 00:36:50,530 --> 00:36:51,570 Mrs. Lever, Lily. 333 00:36:52,070 --> 00:36:56,930 Mrs. Love Lever, I would take a sure guess that you're the housekeeper, am I 334 00:36:56,930 --> 00:37:01,010 right? I have been with Professor Fassbender for 30 years. 335 00:37:01,490 --> 00:37:06,090 That would account for your exaggerated hysteria over a simple blemish on the 336 00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:07,530 furniture. Blemish? 337 00:37:08,030 --> 00:37:10,650 Whatever has happened to the piano can easily be repaired. 338 00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:15,560 What has happened to Professor Fassbender and his daughter is another 339 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:21,240 And it is my job to bring the guilty party or parties to the justice. 340 00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:23,580 Now then, what do we know? 341 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:29,780 One, that Professor Fassbender and his daughter have been kidnapped. 342 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:34,460 Two, that someone has kidnapped them. 343 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,000 Three, that my hand is on fire. 344 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:55,800 Good afternoon, sir. 345 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,680 Inspector Clouseau has been interrogating the staff. 346 00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:03,880 Inspector Clouseau is Superintendent Quinlan. Ah, Inspector. 347 00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:06,140 Superintendent. 348 00:38:30,250 --> 00:38:33,090 Why don't you just tell Paris that he's incompetent and request that he be taken 349 00:38:33,090 --> 00:38:34,090 off the case? 350 00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:35,450 Of course. 351 00:38:36,890 --> 00:38:40,630 I've got enough trouble with France without suggesting that their great 352 00:38:40,630 --> 00:38:43,130 detective is a fool. 353 00:38:46,650 --> 00:38:47,650 Steady. 354 00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:50,250 Where is he now? 355 00:38:52,090 --> 00:38:54,250 He is shadowing the Fassbender farm. 356 00:40:08,310 --> 00:40:10,490 Yes. Who are you? 357 00:40:10,710 --> 00:40:11,810 Chuck. Who are you? 358 00:40:20,010 --> 00:40:21,010 What's next? 359 00:40:21,290 --> 00:40:23,650 I am Chief Inspector Jacques Crusoe. 360 00:40:24,370 --> 00:40:26,490 Oh, how exciting. 361 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,360 I think I will just take a look around. 362 00:40:29,860 --> 00:40:33,240 Yes, well, you'll have to make use of the bar first, or take a table. We shall 363 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:34,380 start in a couple of minutes. 364 00:40:34,660 --> 00:40:36,740 In that case, I will take the table. Right. 365 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:38,900 Follow me, Jock. Jacques. 366 00:40:39,780 --> 00:40:40,780 Jacques? 367 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:51,120 Ladies and gentlemen, once again, it is my profound pleasure to introduce the 368 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,620 incomparable Aimsley Jarvis. 369 00:41:03,890 --> 00:41:09,090 What's a queen without a castle? 370 00:41:47,310 --> 00:41:54,250 be wanting this need I need can come from only 371 00:41:54,250 --> 00:42:00,690 you until you love 372 00:42:00,690 --> 00:42:07,630 me I'll live a life of longing for that the 373 00:42:07,630 --> 00:42:09,890 next best thing I 374 00:42:17,260 --> 00:42:20,020 of knowing which way 375 00:43:40,330 --> 00:43:45,690 Jarvis the Suspender Butler, and tonight you are... Inspector, Inspector, before 376 00:43:45,690 --> 00:43:48,570 you get yourself all under the... Madame, Monsieur, I must warn you. 377 00:43:48,830 --> 00:43:50,750 You had better watch your step. 378 00:43:54,990 --> 00:43:58,670 Something wrong, Ainsley? 379 00:43:59,250 --> 00:44:00,430 No, of course not, Bruno. 380 00:44:01,010 --> 00:44:03,970 No, the Inspector here was just warning me that I had to watch my step. 381 00:44:04,170 --> 00:44:07,810 You see, back in France, he's known as King of the Tango. 382 00:44:08,510 --> 00:44:10,370 Tango? Oh, I'd love to. 383 00:44:21,530 --> 00:44:22,850 The kidnappers are here. 384 00:44:23,410 --> 00:44:24,410 Kidnappers? 385 00:44:28,930 --> 00:44:29,930 Okay, 386 00:44:31,290 --> 00:44:32,290 let's go. 387 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,440 Ah! 388 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,260 Look at it this way. 389 00:45:34,740 --> 00:45:36,080 It can't possibly get any worse. 390 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,200 Professor Fassbender. 391 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:32,860 What an honor to have you and your charming daughter as my guests. 392 00:46:33,300 --> 00:46:34,600 Who the devil are you? 393 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,340 Ah, yes. Who the devil indeed? 394 00:46:36,620 --> 00:46:37,620 Come, sit down. 395 00:46:37,820 --> 00:46:40,700 Let us just say for the moment that I'm your host. 396 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,220 And that I will do everything in my power to make your stay here at Monshine 397 00:46:44,220 --> 00:46:45,920 Castle as pleasant as possible. 398 00:46:46,820 --> 00:46:52,320 Providing, of course, that you reciprocate by giving me something that 399 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,320 much want. 400 00:46:54,510 --> 00:46:55,510 And that would be? 401 00:46:56,490 --> 00:47:00,830 I am fascinated by your work on time -space relationships. 402 00:47:01,910 --> 00:47:05,770 Particularly the vortices of electromagnetic aberrations. 403 00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:07,730 I see. 404 00:47:08,370 --> 00:47:10,190 And do you work for a particular government? 405 00:47:10,690 --> 00:47:13,410 Or do you expect to sell my discovery to the highest bidder? 406 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:14,790 Neither, Professor. 407 00:47:14,890 --> 00:47:16,130 Nothing so mundane. 408 00:47:17,070 --> 00:47:20,010 You and I begin to join forces, Professor. 409 00:47:20,670 --> 00:47:22,690 Begin to build the doomsday machine. 410 00:47:23,370 --> 00:47:24,510 And conquer the world. 411 00:47:24,750 --> 00:47:25,750 Have a sweet. 412 00:47:26,430 --> 00:47:27,430 Mad. 413 00:47:27,770 --> 00:47:28,770 Mad? 414 00:47:29,170 --> 00:47:30,330 On the contrary. 415 00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:35,570 Every day, in every way, I've been getting better and better. 416 00:47:37,270 --> 00:47:38,270 Mad? 417 00:47:38,590 --> 00:47:39,810 Was Hannibal mad? 418 00:47:40,150 --> 00:47:41,150 Or Alexander? 419 00:47:41,950 --> 00:47:44,290 Surely Napoleon was the maddest of them all. 420 00:47:44,810 --> 00:47:45,810 Mad? 421 00:47:46,650 --> 00:47:48,070 We shall see, Professor. 422 00:47:48,670 --> 00:47:50,070 I shall tell you nothing. 423 00:47:50,550 --> 00:47:51,710 I think you will. 424 00:47:59,050 --> 00:48:00,050 die first. 425 00:48:02,850 --> 00:48:05,090 Show Miss Fussbender to the schoolroom. 426 00:48:29,450 --> 00:48:30,790 So very, very painful. 427 00:48:31,270 --> 00:48:32,410 So hideous. 428 00:48:32,950 --> 00:48:35,290 Your father will have no choice but to cooperate. 429 00:49:17,530 --> 00:49:18,570 What happened? 430 00:49:19,010 --> 00:49:20,010 Where's the game? 431 00:49:20,330 --> 00:49:21,330 Who is that? 432 00:49:21,650 --> 00:49:22,650 Hello there. 433 00:49:25,870 --> 00:49:27,130 He's on every station. 434 00:49:27,390 --> 00:49:28,450 Well, call the FCC. 435 00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:29,948 Hold it, hold it. 436 00:49:29,950 --> 00:49:30,970 He's saying something. 437 00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:37,360 Mr. President, everybody, calm down. Calm down, Hal. This is an emergency. 438 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,160 An emergency. 439 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:40,540 It's a Michigan storm. 440 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,960 Please, let's hear what the fellow has to say. 441 00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:50,760 It is little enough to ask the life of one man against a holocaust that 442 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,200 could destroy the globe. 443 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,040 What the hell is he talking about? 444 00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:57,440 Quiet. 445 00:49:58,200 --> 00:49:59,500 That's why I say again. 446 00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:07,270 Give me Clouseau, and we can all sleep secure in our beds. 447 00:50:07,430 --> 00:50:08,430 What's a Clouseau? 448 00:50:08,570 --> 00:50:15,410 And so, next week, I shall give the world a demonstration of the awesome 449 00:50:15,410 --> 00:50:22,270 hold. On Saturday, October 9th, at precisely 3 p .m. Eastern Standard Time, 450 00:50:22,370 --> 00:50:29,330 the United Nations building will vanish from the face of 451 00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:30,009 the Earth. 452 00:50:30,010 --> 00:50:31,550 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 453 00:50:32,790 --> 00:50:38,230 And the gun goes off. The game is over. Call the FBI, the CIA, and the Pentagon. 454 00:50:38,350 --> 00:50:39,610 Find out who won the game. 455 00:50:44,810 --> 00:50:48,310 That's a photograph taken by an American news photographer while the broadcast 456 00:50:48,310 --> 00:50:49,310 was in progress. 457 00:50:50,450 --> 00:50:55,870 Palace has identified him as one Charles Dreyfus, former chief inspector of the 458 00:50:55,870 --> 00:50:56,870 surety. 459 00:50:57,590 --> 00:50:58,590 You're joking. 460 00:50:58,650 --> 00:51:02,470 and more recently an inmate at the state facility for the criminally insane. 461 00:51:02,750 --> 00:51:04,430 Oh. Until he escaped. 462 00:51:05,030 --> 00:51:06,670 Here's the text of his speech. 463 00:51:07,750 --> 00:51:12,310 He obviously controls equipment sophisticated enough to pirate the 464 00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:16,190 Give me closer, we can all sleep secure in our beds. I thought that bit might 465 00:51:16,190 --> 00:51:19,130 interest you. That's one crazy chief inspector talking about another crazy 466 00:51:19,130 --> 00:51:21,070 inspector. Is he mean? Anyway, closer. 467 00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:27,120 Listen to this. Little enough to ask the life of one man against the Holocaust 468 00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:28,520 that could destroy the globe. 469 00:51:28,780 --> 00:51:29,860 He's the best, Bedlam. 470 00:51:30,100 --> 00:51:32,780 He also threatens to make the UN building disappear. 471 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,800 Operation Looking Glass. 472 00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:40,140 Fassbender. 473 00:51:40,660 --> 00:51:42,480 Give it. Give it level. Home office. 474 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:44,720 When is Clutha? 475 00:51:45,260 --> 00:51:46,260 I've no idea. 476 00:52:00,490 --> 00:52:05,890 ladies and gentlemen, once again, the incomparable Ainsley Jarvis. 477 00:52:23,990 --> 00:52:25,290 Mrs. Jarvis? 478 00:52:26,990 --> 00:52:28,210 Mrs. Jarvis? 479 00:52:59,180 --> 00:53:00,280 So, coroner's reporter. 480 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:01,759 It's amazing. 481 00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,260 Even after he'd been stabbed twice, he was still able to break the kidnapper's 482 00:53:05,260 --> 00:53:06,400 neck. Ah, pity. 483 00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:08,860 Yes, he had a lovely voice. 484 00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,960 No, I mean, pity for the kidnapper's dad. We might have got something out of 485 00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:14,960 him. 486 00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:16,980 I did get something out of him. 487 00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,200 What? 488 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:19,920 What's that? 489 00:53:23,340 --> 00:53:24,340 There. 490 00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:25,660 Here? 491 00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:28,470 You said it clear? 492 00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:31,050 Yes, yes. A brochure, clear. 493 00:53:32,170 --> 00:53:34,150 Advertising the Octoberfest in Munich. 494 00:53:34,490 --> 00:53:36,470 It begins the day after tomorrow. 495 00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:40,610 And you think the dead man was planning to go there? Perhaps to meet someone? 496 00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:41,910 Yes. 497 00:53:42,190 --> 00:53:46,150 Perhaps to meet the lunatic Dreyfus. 498 00:53:48,070 --> 00:53:50,870 At one time partners in the war against crime. 499 00:53:52,310 --> 00:53:54,770 Now, not enemies. 500 00:54:00,300 --> 00:54:01,300 He'll need help. 501 00:54:02,620 --> 00:54:04,040 I prefer to do this alone. 502 00:54:04,420 --> 00:54:08,260 Yes, but if Dreyfus is what we suspect, yes, he probably has an armor behind 503 00:54:08,260 --> 00:54:09,820 him. Well, of course, it won't be easy. 504 00:54:10,340 --> 00:54:14,740 Nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have 505 00:54:14,740 --> 00:54:15,740 succeeded. 506 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,800 For me, the greater the odds, the greater the challenge. 507 00:54:21,220 --> 00:54:24,080 And as always, I accept the challenge. 508 00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:28,940 Well, I am off to Munich. 509 00:54:35,630 --> 00:54:36,630 Just ingenious. 510 00:54:36,770 --> 00:54:38,530 The old, pleasant plough. 511 00:54:39,150 --> 00:54:43,610 I really must congratulate you. If there's one thing I do enjoy, it's a 512 00:54:43,610 --> 00:54:44,610 pleasant plough. 513 00:54:45,170 --> 00:54:48,310 Well, until we meet again in the case of Silverwood. 514 00:55:36,720 --> 00:55:37,720 For a minute. 515 00:55:39,020 --> 00:55:43,040 We're going to look like a bunch of dipsy doodles if this turns out to be a 516 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:44,040 hoax. 517 00:55:44,180 --> 00:55:49,020 Well, we would look very foolish if we didn't take every precaution and it 518 00:55:49,020 --> 00:55:50,360 turned out not to be a hoax. 519 00:55:50,620 --> 00:55:54,320 Dr. Pathbender and Operation Looking Glass are certainly no hoax, Mr. 520 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:59,780 God, a weapon like that in the hands of a crazy Frenchman. 521 00:56:01,980 --> 00:56:02,980 You are certain? 522 00:56:03,380 --> 00:56:04,380 You can do it? 523 00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:05,920 Theoretically, yes. 524 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,520 For your daughter's sake, I sincerely hope so. Ah, the dreams I had. 525 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:14,160 All the terrible things I was going to do to that sweet child if you fail. 526 00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:19,040 I've done everything you asked. Not yet. When the UN building vanishes, then you 527 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:20,160 will have done everything I asked. 528 00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,140 What do you suppose they will call the crater, huh? 529 00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:26,040 The Dreyfus Ditch. 530 00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:28,300 There should be no crater. 531 00:56:28,620 --> 00:56:29,618 No crater? 532 00:56:29,620 --> 00:56:31,820 But I want a crater. I want wreckage. 533 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:33,160 Twisted metal. 534 00:56:33,220 --> 00:56:34,900 Something the world will not forget. 535 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,900 They will not forget today. 536 00:56:37,260 --> 00:56:38,680 They won't? Wonderful. 537 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,500 I have to tinkle again. Don't do anything to like it. Too late. 538 00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:43,040 The countdown started. 539 00:56:43,340 --> 00:56:44,340 One minute. 540 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:19,480 Thirty seconds. 541 00:57:20,180 --> 00:57:27,140 Seven, six, five, four, three. 542 00:58:00,300 --> 00:58:02,040 The awesome power which I control. 543 00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:07,580 A power so great that if I choose, I could wipe out an entire city. 544 00:58:08,580 --> 00:58:14,060 After all, what is the life of a man compared to the destruction of a whole 545 00:58:14,060 --> 00:58:15,060 city? 546 00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:17,820 I give you seven days. 547 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:20,460 Seven days. 548 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,600 Okay. 549 00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:25,540 Well done. 550 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:28,360 So, now we wait. 551 00:58:29,420 --> 00:58:31,120 All this to get one cop. 552 00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:36,620 But we have the finest hitmen here in Europe in this very room. Yeah, why 553 00:58:36,620 --> 00:58:37,840 we take care of it ourselves, huh? 554 00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:42,580 Because you wouldn't stand a chance. Come on. You don't know Clouseau. 555 00:58:42,780 --> 00:58:44,240 He can't be that good. 556 00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:45,520 Good? 557 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:47,960 He is not good. He is terrible. 558 00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:49,420 He is the worst. 559 00:58:50,540 --> 00:58:53,320 There is not any man like him anywhere in the world. 560 00:58:54,260 --> 00:58:57,080 Compared to Clouseau, this doomsday machine is... 561 00:58:57,610 --> 00:58:58,890 Just a water pistol. 562 00:58:59,730 --> 00:59:05,650 That's why it will take all the great nations with all of their trained 563 00:59:05,650 --> 00:59:12,270 assassins and all of their sophisticated murder weapons to eliminate Clouseau. 564 00:59:20,210 --> 00:59:21,210 Taxi, please. 565 00:59:30,540 --> 00:59:31,540 What are you doing? 566 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:32,640 That's my case. 567 00:59:34,260 --> 00:59:38,400 Lucky for you, I'm in a hurry. Otherwise, you would have been arrested. 568 00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:44,640 And when it comes to the matter of eliminating Foucault, nobody wants to 569 00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:46,600 anybody else get the credit for it. 570 00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,760 It's a matter of national pride. 571 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,220 Well, I think we all agree, don't we, Mr. President, that we simply cannot 572 00:59:54,220 --> 00:59:57,760 afford to allow any other country to get hold of Fassbender's machine. 573 00:59:58,140 --> 01:00:02,850 And crazy or not, Anyone who has gone to the length that Dreyfus has gone to in 574 01:00:02,850 --> 01:00:08,330 order to eliminate one man is reasonable to assume that Dreyfus will smile very 575 01:00:08,330 --> 01:00:11,790 kindly on the one who eliminates Inspector Clouseau. 576 01:00:12,450 --> 01:00:14,310 I think that's pretty far -fetched. 577 01:00:14,730 --> 01:00:19,690 Mr. President, if I told you one week ago that the UN building would disappear 578 01:00:19,690 --> 01:00:24,610 and that a certified lunatic would blackmail the entire... You made your 579 01:00:24,810 --> 01:00:25,810 What do we do? 580 01:00:26,030 --> 01:00:28,970 Well, Mr. President, Clouseau is in Munich. 581 01:00:29,530 --> 01:00:31,710 Well, I ordered one of our top people to Munich yesterday. 582 01:00:32,030 --> 01:00:33,030 Yesterday? 583 01:00:33,190 --> 01:00:34,230 Well, just in case. 584 01:00:35,490 --> 01:00:36,610 He's just reported in. 585 01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:38,810 Clouseau has gone to the Oktoberfest. 586 01:00:39,090 --> 01:00:41,750 I wonder if we have enough time before the others act. 587 01:00:42,310 --> 01:00:43,770 Oh, Germany's already acted. 588 01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:45,010 And bundled it. 589 01:00:46,490 --> 01:00:50,590 According to the latest code transmission, 12 countries have got 590 01:00:50,590 --> 01:00:53,770 assassins in Munich and they're all converging on the Oktoberfest. 591 01:00:55,810 --> 01:00:58,490 My God, it will be like a shooting gallery. 592 01:05:23,950 --> 01:05:24,950 Do you know what time it is? 593 01:05:26,350 --> 01:05:27,750 He wants me to call. 594 01:05:30,410 --> 01:05:31,430 I'll be in, coach. 595 01:05:35,470 --> 01:05:36,470 What's the score? 596 01:05:45,850 --> 01:05:46,850 Yes! 597 01:05:47,630 --> 01:05:48,630 Oh. 598 01:05:49,630 --> 01:05:50,630 It's okay. 599 01:05:51,590 --> 01:05:52,590 How many? 600 01:05:53,030 --> 01:05:55,390 26, Mr. President. Holy cow. 601 01:05:55,770 --> 01:05:59,970 No wonder Dreyfus wants that Clouseau killed. He's a one -man army. Who's 602 01:06:00,530 --> 01:06:02,610 Just the Russian and the Egyptian. 603 01:07:03,009 --> 01:07:04,009 Thank you. 604 01:08:38,470 --> 01:08:40,189 Good evening, Inspector Clouseau. 605 01:08:57,029 --> 01:09:00,710 I couldn't sleep, and I just happened to be in the neighbourhood. 606 01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:11,300 I hope you don't mind. 607 01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:29,800 Oh, you Frenchmen are so romantic. 608 01:09:32,300 --> 01:09:36,359 Thank heaven for little girl. 609 01:10:48,910 --> 01:10:49,910 Bye. Bye. 610 01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:16,920 Ugh. 611 01:12:47,210 --> 01:12:49,610 Forgive me, darling. I just washed my hands. 612 01:12:50,190 --> 01:12:52,790 Oh, they must have been freezing. 613 01:12:54,550 --> 01:12:55,690 Freezing, yes, yes. 614 01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:57,330 Something wrong? 615 01:12:57,910 --> 01:12:58,910 Wrong? 616 01:12:59,990 --> 01:13:02,690 What could be wrong? 617 01:13:05,450 --> 01:13:08,770 Then come back to bed. 618 01:13:09,610 --> 01:13:10,810 Yes, yes, of course. 619 01:13:11,310 --> 01:13:12,810 Into the dead, you know. 620 01:13:14,470 --> 01:13:16,250 And take off those... 621 01:13:16,910 --> 01:13:17,910 Silly pyjamas. 622 01:13:19,790 --> 01:13:23,950 You may rest assured you will never see these silly pyjamas again. 623 01:13:24,770 --> 01:13:26,410 That I can assure you. 624 01:13:34,010 --> 01:13:35,010 Darling. 625 01:13:43,930 --> 01:13:45,450 Yes, I won't be a moment. 626 01:13:46,959 --> 01:13:47,959 Darling. 627 01:13:53,180 --> 01:13:55,680 I'm just going to take a bath. 628 01:13:58,320 --> 01:13:59,320 Excuse me. 629 01:14:01,700 --> 01:14:02,700 Yes. 630 01:14:09,220 --> 01:14:11,440 Hello, this is Chief Inspector Clouseau. 631 01:14:11,900 --> 01:14:15,320 There is a beautiful woman in my bed and a dead man in my bath. 632 01:14:38,890 --> 01:14:42,810 Madam, I arrest you for the murder of the man in this bathtub. 633 01:14:43,090 --> 01:14:48,930 What? And I must warn you that anything you say will be taken down and used in 634 01:14:48,930 --> 01:14:50,570 evidence against me. You. 635 01:14:55,630 --> 01:14:56,730 I don't know. He looks familiar. 636 01:14:58,990 --> 01:15:00,230 He looks like you. 637 01:15:00,530 --> 01:15:01,530 Looks like me? 638 01:15:04,970 --> 01:15:06,150 Tell me, is he bankrupt? 639 01:15:07,110 --> 01:15:09,870 What is he doing in your bathtub, dressed up like you? 640 01:15:10,370 --> 01:15:12,710 It is a question I could very easily ask you. 641 01:15:13,810 --> 01:15:14,990 But he has been shot. 642 01:15:16,190 --> 01:15:18,250 And I do not carry a gun. 643 01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:20,890 Obviously not, no. 644 01:15:22,230 --> 01:15:24,050 I am Olga Beriosova. 645 01:15:24,730 --> 01:15:29,670 Until one hour ago, I was a loyal Russian agent under direct order from 646 01:15:29,670 --> 01:15:30,910 Presidium to kill you. 647 01:15:31,410 --> 01:15:32,410 To kill me? 648 01:15:32,690 --> 01:15:37,390 I was considered a perfect liquidator because no man had ever been able to 649 01:15:37,390 --> 01:15:40,150 involve me emotionally until tonight. 650 01:15:42,070 --> 01:15:48,490 Do you think that you could fall in love with an ex -Russian agent? 651 01:15:50,110 --> 01:15:53,610 Well, of course, everything is... 652 01:15:53,930 --> 01:15:54,930 Possible, yes. 653 01:16:00,730 --> 01:16:01,950 But you are not the same. 654 01:16:02,790 --> 01:16:04,970 Huh? Oh, well, of course. 655 01:16:06,910 --> 01:16:11,570 Dead men in bathtubs have been known to make quite a difference, you know. 656 01:16:12,150 --> 01:16:17,230 Anyway, this is the man who can lead me to the lunatic Dreyfus, who it is my 657 01:16:17,230 --> 01:16:22,330 sworn duty to apprehend. I too had a sworn duty, but I have forsaken it, 658 01:16:22,330 --> 01:16:23,330 traitor. 659 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:32,240 With me, it is the duty that comes first. 660 01:16:32,580 --> 01:16:34,860 Oh, make an exception just this once. 661 01:16:35,980 --> 01:16:37,360 I wish that I could. 662 01:16:37,620 --> 01:16:39,180 Oh, you can. 663 01:16:39,860 --> 01:16:46,860 I guarantee it. No, you see, I... Oh, look, look. What? 664 01:16:47,100 --> 01:16:50,700 That tattoo. When I arrested Tournier, he did not have that tattoo. 665 01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:53,640 It looks like the moonshine crest. 666 01:16:54,660 --> 01:16:57,020 Moonshine? Mm -hmm. It is that. 667 01:16:57,580 --> 01:17:01,180 An infamous family who ruled Bavaria in the 15th century. 668 01:17:01,460 --> 01:17:08,340 Oh. I read somewhere that the Monshine Castle had recently been sold. 669 01:17:08,980 --> 01:17:13,340 You read somewhere that they had sold the castle? 670 01:17:14,820 --> 01:17:15,820 Oh. 671 01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:20,680 Fancy them selling the castle just like that. 672 01:17:25,540 --> 01:17:26,680 The cut. 673 01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:30,120 Yes, Dreyfus. 674 01:17:31,020 --> 01:17:32,980 Dreyfus. He is in the castle. 675 01:17:38,480 --> 01:17:39,480 There we go. 676 01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:44,200 Farewell, I am off to Munchen Castle. 677 01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:00,120 be getting a cavity. 678 01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,520 When can my daughter and I leave? 679 01:18:04,320 --> 01:18:06,260 When Clouseau is no more, perhaps. 680 01:18:07,540 --> 01:18:09,440 I have done everything you asked. 681 01:18:09,960 --> 01:18:14,480 You've done everything I've asked so far, but I have not asked everything. 682 01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:17,760 What you mean is that you have no intention of letting us go. 683 01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:22,000 You plan to continue your reign of terror, whether Clouseau is eliminated 684 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:24,300 not. You must admit the thought had occurred to me. 685 01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:25,800 You are mad. 686 01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:27,800 And you are redundant, Professor. 687 01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:30,000 Redundant and fallacious. 688 01:18:30,320 --> 01:18:31,820 Madness does not preclude achievement. 689 01:18:32,100 --> 01:18:34,040 You cannot operate the machine without me. 690 01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,920 Not yet, but when you have taught me. And if I refuse to be taught? 691 01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:42,380 Then regrettably I would have to take the matter up with your charming 692 01:18:43,540 --> 01:18:44,960 What kind of a man are you? 693 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:46,240 A madman. 694 01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:47,600 That's so yourself. 695 01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,160 What? 696 01:18:49,420 --> 01:18:50,420 What? 697 01:19:02,190 --> 01:19:04,130 Only this morning, in his hotel room. Ah! 698 01:19:05,650 --> 01:19:06,650 He's dead! 699 01:19:07,010 --> 01:19:08,010 Ah! 700 01:19:08,230 --> 01:19:10,610 He's dead in his hotel bedroom! 701 01:19:38,510 --> 01:19:39,510 Guten Tag. 702 01:19:39,690 --> 01:19:41,550 Guten Tag. 703 01:19:42,250 --> 01:19:48,530 My name is Professor Guy Gardevoir, medieval castle authority from 704 01:19:48,770 --> 01:19:52,150 Tell me, do you have a ring? 705 01:19:52,690 --> 01:19:56,090 I do not know what a ring is. 706 01:20:06,250 --> 01:20:07,250 Zimmer. 707 01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:12,920 That is what I have been saying, you idiot. 708 01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:15,140 Does 709 01:20:15,140 --> 01:20:32,520 your 710 01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:33,520 derg bad? 711 01:20:35,440 --> 01:20:36,440 No. 712 01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:46,240 I thought you said your dad did not buy it. 713 01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,460 That is not my talk. 714 01:22:55,010 --> 01:22:56,410 Yeah. 715 01:24:01,450 --> 01:24:02,650 Anything I can get your boss? 716 01:24:03,650 --> 01:24:06,630 I can't stand it any longer. Get me a dentist. 717 01:24:20,130 --> 01:24:21,710 Yeah, yeah. 718 01:24:22,150 --> 01:24:24,170 No, no, Dr. 719 01:24:24,450 --> 01:24:27,470 Schweitz lives here, but he has gone fishing. 720 01:24:34,539 --> 01:24:38,260 Did I hear just the doctor lives here? 721 01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:41,100 The doctor is a dentist. 722 01:24:41,340 --> 01:24:45,760 He made my teeth for me. They want him up at the castle. 723 01:24:46,720 --> 01:24:47,920 Up at the castle? 724 01:24:48,620 --> 01:24:50,000 Where can I find him? 725 01:24:50,640 --> 01:24:52,880 Dr. Schultz has gone fishing. 726 01:24:53,220 --> 01:24:56,540 He probably won't be back until... Show me his Zimmer. 727 01:24:56,820 --> 01:24:57,820 His ring. 728 01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:18,420 Like a shirt from the village, you know. 729 01:25:46,860 --> 01:25:48,280 Dr. Scheutz is here. Ah, 730 01:25:49,080 --> 01:25:52,100 here. Doctor, please hurry. I am in agony. 731 01:25:52,580 --> 01:25:53,660 Guten Tag. 732 01:25:54,340 --> 01:25:55,460 The gates. 733 01:25:56,540 --> 01:25:58,280 All will be well, sir. 734 01:25:59,020 --> 01:26:01,860 Did you hurt yourself? 735 01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:05,740 Just the burn. I can set it later. 736 01:26:07,360 --> 01:26:11,780 First of all, I will need some hot water and towels. 737 01:26:12,300 --> 01:26:13,300 Get some hot water, Harry. 738 01:26:13,900 --> 01:26:15,060 And lock the door. 739 01:26:15,430 --> 01:26:16,430 I don't want to be disturbed. 740 01:26:16,810 --> 01:26:20,550 And like the door high, he does not wish to be disturbed, you know. 741 01:26:20,830 --> 01:26:23,370 Please, Doctor, hurry. I can't stand the pain. Yes, yes, yes. 742 01:26:24,350 --> 01:26:25,350 Yes. 743 01:26:25,650 --> 01:26:27,270 Now then, let me see. 744 01:26:27,550 --> 01:26:28,730 Ow! What? 745 01:26:29,350 --> 01:26:30,309 My eye. 746 01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:31,630 Your eye? I thought it was your tooth. 747 01:26:31,970 --> 01:26:35,270 Hmm? But it is my tooth. I wish you would make your mind up. 748 01:26:35,510 --> 01:26:39,030 I don't normally make castle calls in the middle of the night, you know. 749 01:26:39,310 --> 01:26:40,310 Hmm? 750 01:27:11,660 --> 01:27:12,660 Is it that one? 751 01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:16,080 Is it that one? 752 01:27:17,040 --> 01:27:18,320 Is it that one? 753 01:27:19,420 --> 01:27:20,560 There's the naughty one. 754 01:27:21,700 --> 01:27:22,980 Are you going to pull it? 755 01:27:23,740 --> 01:27:24,740 Pull it? 756 01:27:24,980 --> 01:27:26,720 Yes, of course I will pull it. 757 01:27:27,140 --> 01:27:29,480 Please give me something to put me out. 758 01:27:30,020 --> 01:27:31,020 Put you out? 759 01:27:33,500 --> 01:27:39,000 Yes, here first you must wear the special anesthetic cotton wool in here. 760 01:27:39,540 --> 01:27:44,490 Wear it over the eyes. A nurse can't look out from under the anaesthetic 761 01:27:44,490 --> 01:27:48,190 because that ruins the whole effect of the anaesthetic on the eyes. 762 01:27:48,430 --> 01:27:51,270 What would be to hold it like that? Hold it like that on the eyes. 763 01:27:51,610 --> 01:27:53,350 Let me get some more. 764 01:27:53,750 --> 01:27:57,810 Please, doctor. I can't stand the pain. Yes, coming soon. 765 01:28:11,820 --> 01:28:15,140 in order to give you the full effect of the anesthetic. 766 01:28:15,520 --> 01:28:16,520 Please, doctor. 767 01:28:17,120 --> 01:28:18,440 I'm in agony. 768 01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:20,380 Not for much longer. 769 01:28:33,960 --> 01:28:36,000 It was hell down there. 770 01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:37,520 What's wrong? 771 01:28:39,360 --> 01:28:40,880 Well, they built this house. 772 01:28:41,390 --> 01:28:43,230 Put the stealth in the wrong place. 773 01:28:43,610 --> 01:28:46,070 I mean, you failed on the stairs. 774 01:28:47,070 --> 01:28:52,410 I was preoccupied with the anesthetic, you know. It's really hot in here, isn't 775 01:28:52,410 --> 01:28:53,410 it? Hot in here. 776 01:28:56,310 --> 01:29:00,170 Now, the anesthetic. 777 01:29:11,090 --> 01:29:14,430 That is the anesthetic, you know. Oh, good. 778 01:29:16,210 --> 01:29:17,970 Yes, it is good, yes. 779 01:29:20,230 --> 01:29:21,230 Please, 780 01:29:21,650 --> 01:29:25,010 doctor. The pain is getting worse. Please, hurry up. 781 01:29:25,950 --> 01:29:29,730 A few whips of this and you won't feel a thing. 782 01:29:30,850 --> 01:29:31,850 All right. 783 01:29:32,170 --> 01:29:33,690 Now, breathe deeply. 784 01:29:35,950 --> 01:29:36,950 How's that? 785 01:29:37,110 --> 01:29:38,110 It's fine. 786 01:29:39,130 --> 01:29:40,130 How do you feel? 787 01:29:42,550 --> 01:29:44,030 A little, a little dizzy. 788 01:29:46,390 --> 01:29:47,390 What's so funny? 789 01:29:47,570 --> 01:29:48,830 I don't know, nothing. 790 01:29:49,090 --> 01:29:50,110 Then why are you laughing? 791 01:32:56,270 --> 01:32:57,370 who has the last laugh. 792 01:32:57,610 --> 01:33:00,710 They will betray me and now they will have to pay. What shall I destroy? 793 01:33:01,070 --> 01:33:02,730 Buckingham Palace? Too small. 794 01:33:02,950 --> 01:33:04,490 How about London? Not big enough. 795 01:33:04,770 --> 01:33:06,730 England! Yes, England! 796 01:33:07,610 --> 01:33:09,110 Goodbye, Mickey Dilly. 797 01:33:09,610 --> 01:33:11,130 Farewell, Leicester Square. 798 01:33:12,810 --> 01:33:13,370 You 799 01:33:13,370 --> 01:33:20,270 are just 800 01:33:20,270 --> 01:33:21,290 in time, Professor. 801 01:33:21,690 --> 01:33:24,650 Within five minutes, I shall destroy... 802 01:33:30,990 --> 01:33:31,990 warm... 803 01:37:19,660 --> 01:37:21,360 I gave Kato the night off. 804 01:37:23,180 --> 01:37:26,280 But what has happened to my room? 805 01:37:51,600 --> 01:37:58,120 Come to me and the world will be 806 01:37:58,120 --> 01:37:59,940 ours tonight. 807 01:38:01,040 --> 01:38:06,580 Make me yours, come and hold me tight. 808 01:38:06,800 --> 01:38:11,400 I must have you. 809 01:38:13,940 --> 01:38:19,840 Come closer, love me now. 810 01:38:21,390 --> 01:38:25,530 And I'll give all I've got to give. 811 01:38:26,510 --> 01:38:32,750 Make it soon so that I can live and love 812 01:38:32,750 --> 01:38:38,810 and dream for two. 813 01:38:40,350 --> 01:38:45,830 I'm here and I'll stay here 814 01:38:45,830 --> 01:38:49,570 for at least forever. 815 01:38:55,920 --> 01:39:00,840 can't you see I want you loving me 816 01:39:00,840 --> 01:39:06,880 I need 817 01:39:06,880 --> 01:39:13,420 you come to me and we'll 818 01:39:13,420 --> 01:39:20,360 walk in the sun each day summer will be 819 01:39:20,360 --> 01:39:24,320 a kiss away just wait 820 01:39:25,820 --> 01:39:27,260 and see. 821 01:40:08,950 --> 01:40:10,390 Darling. Darling. 822 01:40:13,850 --> 01:40:14,850 Darling. 823 01:40:21,170 --> 01:40:23,150 Darling, sing to me. 824 01:40:23,850 --> 01:40:24,910 Sing to you? 825 01:40:26,290 --> 01:40:28,690 Come to me. 826 01:40:38,139 --> 01:40:39,180 Darling? Darling? 827 01:40:42,560 --> 01:40:43,560 Darling? 828 01:40:44,560 --> 01:40:45,620 Where did you go? 829 01:40:46,500 --> 01:40:47,500 Your voice? 830 01:40:47,740 --> 01:40:49,120 Yes, that was my voice. 831 01:40:49,380 --> 01:40:53,680 That was my voice singing a little song we used to sing in the resistance to 832 01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:54,680 keep up the courage. 833 01:40:55,480 --> 01:40:57,980 Was it hard for you in the resistance? 834 01:40:58,620 --> 01:40:59,620 Very hard. 835 01:40:59,960 --> 01:41:02,220 But not as hard as it is now. 836 01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:03,900 Darling, relax. 837 01:41:04,360 --> 01:41:06,880 The resistance is over. 838 01:41:07,780 --> 01:41:09,260 My darling. 839 01:41:10,540 --> 01:41:13,760 My beautiful darling. What? 840 01:41:14,260 --> 01:41:16,100 What? Kato! 841 01:41:16,420 --> 01:41:18,960 You hear me, dear? Not now, Kato. 842 01:42:23,630 --> 01:42:24,630 . .